Just recently I’ve been reminded of how important it is to ‘own it’.
What ‘it’ is…in itself has an annex so large…and I promised myself this would be short (as to keep my distractions at bay) and sweet, so I’ll skirt the circumference and head straight to the pointy bit…
I was not owning ‘it’.
…and you’ll agree with me by example – the last year (no posting…WHAT…need I say more?).
You see, like most emerging authors, I find it difficult to tell those who ask that I’m an author when I have no published works to speak of. From here, this exact point, comes my confidence – or lack there of.
By definition, I am an author – having written a novel, but being unpublished is like sitting at an overcrowded bar with an empty glass and no money, waiting for someone to fill it.
About a month ago, I was lucky enough to be invited to a lunch with a super-supportive friend’s friend who is a children’s book illustrator and beautiful person at that. Along with her came the author of one of her latest offerings and someone who, after a two hour lunch filled with machine-gun questions (most of which were possibly very dumb!), changed the way I looked at myself as a writer, in the most rudamentary of ways – belief.
By the end of our lunch, I was mentally totalling the hours I had spent rejecting myself and what I do…all because I didn’t really believe – not that I had written a novel, but that I could have the audacity to call my self thus…an author.
I said I would keep this short, fast-forward to today.
This afternoon saw the last of my hard-copy submissions into the post box slot, yesterday the last of my email offerings…for now, for this round (yes, everything crossed). ‘Mabon’ has been revised (yet again…!), as has my synopsis…it feels different this time. I’ve actually added an illustration, which to begin with I thought strange. Why? Now I’m not sure why it wasn’t in there before – Mabon needed it, needed this re-work. And I, thanks to that heaven-sent being, that illuminating author from above, needed some tough talk (handled ever-so expertly) and a spot of guidance toward belief.
I can’t thank her enough.